Success ~ Marie Leslie

It’s Time to Stop Hiding Your Talents and Embrace Your Gifts

As a child, I was a failure. I wasn’t good at anything. I was fired by my piano teacher after two torturous years of lessons. In fact, I wasn’t just fired; she told my mother I shouldn’t be allowed at the piano because I was too uncoordinated to play. I loved the piano and I was sad.

I took ballet when I was young. That didn’t last long either. Apparently, I was also too uncoordinated for the world of dance. I took a sewing class in middle school. It didn’t end well. It was probably the only time in my life I was thankful for social promotion so I wouldn’t be given a failing grade. (In fairness, I stuck with it and in my early adulthood finally mastered the art of sewing). I signed up to sing in the choir for the school play in eighth grade. After two rehearsals they told me I could stay–if I mouthed the words. My middle school attempts at becoming a distance runner ended after a couple of serious asthma attacks. Middle school was pretty rough on my ego.

By the end of middle school, I was convinced I had no talents, no gifts to offer the world. I figured I was destined for a life as a loser. 13 is pretty young to be giving up on one’s future, but apparently I wasn’t all that good at optimism back then either.

Have you ever felt that way? Do you question whether you have any talents or gifts that make you special and unique? You shouldn’t. You DO have talents. You DO have gifts. Do you know how I know this? Because none of us were sent to this life without the talents and gifts that we would need to accomplish our purpose here.

Perhaps like me, you have struggled to discover those talents and gifts. Maybe you still struggle some days. Or maybe you aren’t recognizing those talents and gifts because they aren’t obvious or aren’t things that the world thinks of as talent. Talents aren’t limited to the performing or visual arts. The arts might quickly come to mind when we think of talents, but there are so many other talents and gifts that it would take weeks to list them all.

I still don’t sing. And I’m not very good at the piano, though I have to confess in absolute defiance of my piano teacher’s pronouncement I taught myself to play “Fur Elise” and it’s one of the few songs I can actually play. If I practice a lot, I can learn a moderately difficult piece of music. I took up the flute at the end of eighth grade and had an enjoyable four years of marching band. I’m not a great flute player, but I did well enough. And perhaps more importantly, I developed an incredible love for music, so much so that I became a school music volunteer and spent more than 15 years encouraging my children and other children to develop their musical talents.

The summer before high school, with the encouragement of my parents, I decided I would try out for the swim team. Never mind that I couldn’t swim the length of the pool. I was going to become a swimmer. I rode my bike down to the community pool and enlisted one of the lifeguards to become my “coach.” I spent every afternoon at the pool that summer swimming laps, and he taught me how to do a flip turn and dive off the blocks. And by 1/10 of one second, I made the freshman swim team.

I also discovered along the way that I had some gifts. They didn’t look much like talents to the world, but when I really began paying attention, I discovered there were things I was good at. Over time I have discovered more talents and gifts. Some I have recognized as part of the maturing process, and some were talents developed out of necessity, to be able to be competitive in the world of work or to be able to improve my home and my family.

You have gifts and talents too. It really doesn’t matter what the world thinks of them. Sometimes the world fails to value that which is most valuable. It’s important that we don’t fall into that trap and devalue ourselves by devaluing our talents.

Are you having trouble identifying those talents? Here are some ways that you can begin identifying your gifts and talents so you can focus on them and fully develop them.

Ask someone else. Or several someone elses. Ask several trusted friends and family members what they think your talents or gifts are. Be sure to ask each separately so you can get a more objective response. Finally, ask co-workers or people you serve with in volunteer positions the same question. Write down all the answers you get. You may be surprised at what you hear.
Create a resume. If you had to go out and find a job (or a new job) tomorrow, what would you put on your resume? It doesn’t matter if you’ve never had a formal job. What skills would you include on that resume? This exercise is much more effective if you take it seriously and really try to put together a resume that is going to sell an potential employer on you.
Take an assessment. Many career development websites offer assessment tests that will give you a picture of your current skills, talents and interests relating to the career world.
Work with a Mentor or Coach. A good mentor will help you to breakthrough some of your negative thinking regarding talents, and will help you to identify the talents you have and talents you should be developing. If you would like to see how this works, drop me a message here to arrange a complementary mentoring session.

Once you’ve identified your talents, own them. Be proud of them. And now, you need to begin finding ways to developing those talents and gifts and learning how you can use them to achieve your purpose, to improve your life and to make your corner of the world a little better place.

Marie Leslie Leave a Comment

The 5 F’s you Need to Be a Complete Success

What’s your definition of success? Is it a satisfying career, a big paycheck, a big house, all the toys? Or is it more family time, better health, or time to relax and enjoy your life?

Each of these is part of the package of success, but there are five essential elements you need to include to be a complete success. While you can certainly be happy with success in one or more area, I believe that you need all five to be a complete success. The five elements are:

Faith
Family
Fitness
Finance
Fulfillment

Faith: We all need to believe in something greater than ourselves. Having faith in something greater than ourselves encourages us to reach out, to have hope when life seems hopeless and to recognize that we are but one part of a much larger whole. It also reminds us to build relationships and to serve our fellow men. I believe that faith is one of the things that keeps us from spending too much time looking inward and reminds us to look outward. How you express your faith and live your faith is entirely up to you. I am a spiritual person so my faith is expressed and strengthened through activity in my church. Yours may be something entirely different–and that’s ok. Our individual expressions of faith are part of what makes us who we are.

Family: Family is important. As John Donne said, “No man is an island.” We need close interpersonal relationships in our lives. Whether you are part of a traditional mom-dad-and-the-kids family, a single-parent-and-kids family, a couple-with-no-kids family, or your family looks different, it doesn’t matter. People who are members of families generally enjoy better physical and mental health. Our family also gives us shared history–someone who has had many of the same experiences as we have,

Fitness: Without health, wealth and success mean little. Doing our best to enjoy our optimum level of health makes life more enjoyable. Few are blessed with perfect health, and there are some health challenges that cannot be completely overcome no matter how hard we work at it, no matter how hard we wish for it or no matter how amazing our health providers are. But that doesn’t mean we can’t be at our best, whatever that best may be. Self-care is essential to being able to achieve our goals and fully enjoy our lives.

Finance: Having your finances in order is a critical component of success. This doesn’t necessarily mean being wealthy, but it does mean having enough to meet your needs and care for yourself and your family. When your time is spent worrying about your finances, worrying about having enough, worrying about debts that feel overwhelming, it’s difficult to focus on anything else. Putting your finances in order and ensuring that you can meet your needs will bring peace and eliminate much stress from your life.

Fulfillment: What brings you joy? What gives you purpose? Fulfillment is the finishing piece, that brings all the other F’s together. I believe fulfillment is essential. Figure out what it is you need to feel fulfilled in your life and pursue it. Putting the first four F’s in order will make this one easier. But I firmly believe that we were created and put on this earth to have joy. Not just fun, not just entertainment, but to find, create and have joy in our lives. And I believe that living our purpose is what will bring us the most joy.

So how do these five F’s play into becoming a complete success? As we set goals and strive for success in our lives, our goals should fit into one or more of these areas. Having goals that will improve each of these areas of your life will enrich your entire life and help you to achieve the success you desire.

Marie Leslie Leave a Comment

How to Become a More Positive Person

Life can be hard. Things don’t always go like we expect them to. We experience disappointments and setbacks. It’s easy to let those negative parts of life overwhelm us and become our focus.

Life can be great. Sometimes things go even better than we expect. We experience victories, large and small. We succeed and we celebrate. For most people, the good and the bad come in fairly equal measures.

How is it, though, that for so many it is much easier to dwell on the negative instead of the positive? Wouldn’t life would be more enjoyable if we dwelt on the positive? What is it that keeps us from being more positive? Is it perhaps that we simply haven’t learned how to focus on the positive?

Positivity is one of the best habits we can develop. It’s not always easy—sometimes it’s actual WORK—but learning to be positive and look for the positive in every situation will make your life more joyful. It won’t’ eliminate the hard stuff from your life, nor should it. But learning to become a more positive person will make it easier to navigate the setbacks, disappointments and challenges that are a part of everyone’s lives.

For a more fulfilling and peaceful life, follow these steps and learn how to become a more positive person.

Acknowledge life’s challenges. Don’t be a Pollyanna. Stuffing it doesn’t help anyone. Once you’ve acknowledged and processed them, refocus on the positive aspects of whatever situation you are in. Sometimes it may be looking for the lesson you can learn. Sometimes it may just be gratitude that it wasn’t worse.

Put yourself in positive surroundings. Surround yourself with positive people. If you want to become a more positive person, you need to make sure you’re spending time with like-minded people. Sad Sally and Negative Ned are going to make it hard for you to focus on the good. Choose to spend time with those who will fill your reservoir of positivity and not drain it instead.

Be proactive. Don’t wait for positive things to happen in your life. Acknowledge the negative and look for the positive in every situation. You know that if you want something to happen in your life, you can’t just sit around and wish for it, you need to go out and make positive things happen in your life. This doesn’t mean they have to be big and grand, just choose the positive.

Find a confidant. Everyone needs that friend they can talk to who will help them work through the hard parts without losing their positive perspective. Make sure you have at least one of these friends—and be that friend for someone else.

Keep a celebration or gratitude journal. Journaling is a great way to express and process feelings and emotions. Keep a dedicated journal where you write the positive parts of each day. These don’t have to be long entries, maybe even just a sentence or two. But journaling your gratitude and /or your victories each day will help you develop the habit of looking for the positive and remembering to acknowledge and express gratitude for it.

Create a happiness box. This is almost like a celebration journal but it’s items that come from other sources. Make yourself a box or file of letters and notes of encouragement, praise, congratulations, etc. Add photographs and other mementoes that remind you of happy events. Whenever you need a positivity boost, just break out the box and remind yourself of all the good things in your life.

Learn to live in the now. Let go of past hurts and disappointments. Acknowledge them, and then let them go. They don’t have to dwell with you daily. Are we seeing a pattern here? It’s important to acknowledge the hard parts of life. Don’t try and sweep them under the rug or pretend they aren’t happening. Acknowledge them, express gratitude for the lessons you’ve learned from them and stop rehashing them over and over. Live in the now. Let the past go (both good and bad). What good things does your life include now?

Are you learning to become a more positive person? What techniques and habits have you developed to help you become more positive? I ‘d love to hear how your journey to become a more positive person is working out for you. Comment below or drop me an email.

Marie Leslie Leave a Comment

Do You Dream of Being an Entrepreneur?

When I was 12, I started babysitting to earn pocket money. Babysitting didn’t pay particularly well, and I found myself working a lot of hours (I think my record month was 70 hours) but not really making a lot of money doing it. I also discovered I really not a fan of changing diapers and cleaning up other people’s messes. But job opportunities were pretty limited when I was 12, so I kept at it.

And then when I was 13, macramé pot hangers became popular and I discovered I was good at tying those knots. I bought a couple of pattern books and I started making macramé pot hangers, first for my mom and then for my grandma. And then friends of my mother started asking me if I could make one for them. Being a creative and enterprising adolescent, I quickly learned I could make money in this little venture and I became a teenage entrepreneur.

My early days as a private swim instructor.

While my first business lasted only as long as the macramé trend, I was bitten by the entrepreneurial bug and there was no turning back. The next summer I turned my swimming skills into a business and became a private swim instructor, which turned out to be a fun and lucrative business in southern California. I taught swim lessons both in my parents’ backyard pool, and at the homes of customers all over town. Unlike my friends who were slaving away at minimum-wage fast-food jobs, I was outdoors all day enjoying the sunshine (and the only time in my life I’ve ever had a tan), making a much higher wage than my friends AND setting my own schedule, allowing for plenty of summer fun, a critical component of teenage life.

I dabbled in a number of other entrepreneurial ventures during those high school years, and also put the marketing skills I was learning to work on the inevitable school fundraisers. By college my aspirations grew and I started a photography business, which I still own today. When people ask me how I became a professional photographer I often tell them, only half jokingly, it was because I was too stupid to know how much work it was to own my own business.

As I built this business, and others, over the years, I have come to know how little I really knew going in to that first adult business. But I had a dream of being an entrepreneur, and I was not about to let a little thing like my lack of knowledge stop me. I’ve learned a few things since then, about life and especially about becoming an entrepreneur. If you dream of becoming an entrepreneur, there are a few things you need to think about and learn as you begin to pursue that dream.

Get Clear

Know what you want to do before you begin. What you start out doing may not be what you do down the road. While I started out as a professional photographer, and I still provide photography services, my business today has evolved and grown into something very different from that picture-taking college student. I am also a MUCH better photographer than I was 30-some years ago. There is nothing wrong with having big dreams of success in your business. In fact, I highly recommend it. But recognize you need to start where you are and you need to be clear about what you want to do now and what you want your business to look like now.

Get Real

When you start your first business, you will be a beginner—both in the business world and in your industry, unless this is something you’ve done professionally before. Presumably you have the skills to get started. If you’re a photographer, you need to know how to create professional-quality photographs. If you’re a social media manager, you need to know how to use the social media networks in a professional manner. And so on.

You also need to recognize that you are on chapter one, and others in your niche may be on chapter four or chapter 20 or chapter 57. Resist the temptation to compare yourself to them and beat yourself up for only being on chapter one. They were once there too.

Get real about the amount of time, effort and money it will take to get your business up and running and to grow it. Do not short change yourself in determining these important costs of business by undercharging or underestimating the time you will need to be successful.

Get Legal

Before you hang out your shingle, especially if your business will involve any kind of in-person services, make sure you know the legalities of running your business. What are the business requirements of the place where you live or where you plan to conduct your business? Can you run a business from your home? Do you need permits, business licenses, or special accommodations? What insurance is required? (Hint: your home insurance may NOT cover business purposes. If you like owning your home, you’ll want to check this out.) The quickest way to torpedo your business—and your financial future—is to run your business afoul of the law. If you need help learning the legalities of running a business in your area, the SBA’s Small Business Development Center is an excellent resource for fledgling entrepreneurs.

Get Help

You’ll build your business faster if you don’t try and do it all on your own. I wish someone had told me this when I was 19 and starting my photography business. There was so much I didn’t know, I didn’t even know I didn’t know it. There was no internet back then, so I had to figure it out on my own, along with the help of a class I had found in the back of a local photography magazine called “The Business of Wedding Photography.” That was the sum total of my early training, along with business books from the library. If I had known or had access to other help, I would have avoided many pitfalls and problems.

Find training. Get all the training you can that’s relevant to your business goals. Even more importantly, find a mentor who can help you develop the entrepreneurial mindset and who can help you understand what it takes to start and grow a business. I have been mentoring entrepreneurs and conducting home business and entrepreneur workshops for more than 25 years. Since I started my first business, I’ve lived in three states, necessitating setting up my business a number of times to comply with the requirements of each city. Over the last several years, the focus of my business has shifted from running a full-time photography studio to helping turn wanta-preneurs into successful entrepreneurs.

If you dream of being an entrepreneur, but aren’t quite sure how to bring this dream to life, I can help you. For a limited time, I am offering free, no-obligation mentoring sessions to answer your questions, help you break through your fears and limiting beliefs, and get your started on your entrepreneurial journey. If you want to take advantage of this limited time opportunity, leave me a comment below or message me through this link.

I look forward to helping you make your dream of being an entrepreneur come true.

Marie Leslie 5 Comments

Learn How to Live Your Life in the Zone of Totality

Like hundreds of thousands of other Americans, I headed to Wyoming last week to watch The Great American Eclipse from within the Zone of Totality. We rolled out of bed at 3:00 Monday morning, loaded up the car with eclipse glasses (yes, they were a necessity), camera gear and snacks and were on the road to Wyoming by 3:30 am.

I could have stayed in bed, slept ‘til after sunrise and watched 92% totality from the comfort of my backyard. I actually contemplated that because I knew the traffic was going to be awful, and even though I’m a morning person, 3 a.m. is stretching it a bit. It would have been so much easier. My husband wouldn’t have had to take the day off work, and we would have missed crazy traffic—and it was crazy.

But someone told me that the difference between seeing 92% totality and 100% totality is about 1,000,000%. And my college students wanted to make the trip. I’d also been told that at 100% totality you see a 360-degree sunset. And the photographer in me is a sucker for a good sunset. So I went.

You know what?

The difference between 92% totality and 100% totality really is about 1,000,000%. It will rank as one of the most amazing experiences of my life. Yes, there was a 360-degree sunset. Words really can’t describe it so we use nebulous terms like awesome and amazing. As I stood in a field in the Wyoming countryside and watched the eclipse progress, I saw the shadow move across the land, experienced the change in the light and the drop in temperature and then, as we moved into those sweet two minutes of complete totality, the skies grew dark, the stars became visible, the air grew chilly, and my heart was filled with an inexpressible joy. My adult son said it was so amazing he felt “giddy.”

I did take photos, but they aren’t spectacular and I really don’t care because I was busy experiencing the event. The few you see in this post are my photographs.

As we made our way home through Nebraska and Wyoming, I began pondering on this event and its significance in my life. And I realized it’s just like life. You can stay home, sleep late and experience 92% of what life has to offer. Or you can make the sacrifice, move out of your comfort zone and head for 100% of your life. And I am learning that going after my dreams, working on my goals and striving to reach my potential 100%, is about a million percent better than the alternative.

Do you really want to stop at 92%–or less? Will you really be fulfilled with only giving it a 92% effort? Or will you spend your life wondering what might have been?

After making the sacrifices and putting out the effort to see the eclipse in 100% totality, I don’t have to wonder what it would have been like. And seeing the 100% difference (I’ve seen partial eclipses in the past), I have deepened my motivation to have that 100% in every area of my life and my business. I came back with an increased determination to reach my goals and renewed focus for propelling my business and my life forward.

Are You Ready to Live in the Zone of Totality?

I have decided to live in the zone of totality. It’s a great place to be. And I would love for you to join me there. If you are ready to move your life forward and live in the zone of totality for either your business or your life, click here to contact me and receive a no-obligation personal mentoring session where we can work together to help you reach your 100% and live in the abundant zone of totality.

Marie Leslie Leave a Comment

How Saying No Can Make You More Successful

Once upon a time, my calendar was bursting at the seams. With four active children, a retail photography studio, activity in my church, and community volunteer work, my color-coded calendar looked like a rainbow threw up all over it. I was busy 24/7 and the word “relax” was not a part of my vocabulary. I felt like I was a good mom and a successful business owner. Until the day I missed an mportant client meeting that got overlooked in my overcrowded schedule.

Fortunately my client was understanding—but it was a HUGE wake-up call for me. I thought I was a much better time juggler than I was. We all think that. And many of us labor under the delusion that if we’re busy we must be accomplishing important things and building our success. And a detrimental delusion it is. Busy, productive and successful are NOT the same thing.

Let me repeat that.

Busy, productive and successful are NOT the same thing.

Busy people may look productive and therefore successful, but in reality they’re often so busy juggling all their commitments to keep anything from falling through the cracks, they miss the important opportunities that could actually increase their success. It feels good to be needed. Being “in demand” can stroke the ego. It feels good to be able to help, but when we fall into the trap of thinking we need to be involved in or responsible for everything, we aren’t doing ourselves—or anyone else—any favors.

I enjoy having opportunities to serve and to be involved in my communities, but I have learned that involvement comes at a price. Providing my business services for free can hurt my business (and it has more than it hasn’t). When I fail to value my time and talents, others fail to value them as well and come to expect free all the time. If I am working for free or volunteering for too many causes I am giving away opportunities where I can earn money to meet the needs of my family. And when I say yes to too many opportunities to provide personal service to others, I am giving away the time I need to meet the needs of my family.

When you say yes to every request that comes along, whether it is business or personal, you will eventually have no time left for the things that are necessary or important to you. You allow someone else to choose your priorities. You also torpedo your business and personal success with all those other activities that take time away from what’s really important. I am not saying you shouldn’t serve or help—that’s not what this post is about. It’s about learning to distinguish between good, better and best, and learning when to decline good and better so you can focus on “best.”

How Can Saying No Make You More Successful?

When you say no to commitments that don’t honor your purpose, you have more time to focus on the things that do. Here are some of the many ways in which saying no can make you more successful.

Saying No gives you control over your own life.
You have the power to choose how to spend your time. Allowing yourself to be “guilted” or shamed into accepting requests gives that control to others.

Saying No lowers your stress level.
Agreeing to things that you either don’t want to do or don’t have time to do creates stress. Declining them helps you avoid unnecessary stress.

Saying No gives you the time and resources to say Yes to the right opportunities.
When your life is overstuffed with every request that comes along, you lack the time and energy to take advantage of the right opportunities for you.

Saying No can increase your confidence and self-esteem.
Being assertive and taking control of your life is good for you and strengthens your confidence.

Saying No increases your self-discipline.
Saying Yes to every request is often the path of least resistance. As you learn to speak up for yourself and say no, you are exercising and strengthening self-discipline.

Saying No demonstrates that you value your time.

Saying No can protect your reputation and integrity.

Saying No increases your authenticity and credibility.
Declining opportunities that don’t fit your purpose or you don’t have time for, allows you to avoid sub-standard results from overbooking, and allows you to act with integrity and reinforce your purpose.

Saying No helps you avoid burnout.
Being selective about the requests you accept helps you to avoid overloading your schedule and becoming too exhausted for your priorities.

Saying No gives you more energy.
When your actions and your commitments align with your purpose, you are energized by them instead of being drained.

Saying No allows you to make smarter decisions.
Carefully choosing the right opportunities, while declining the wrong ones is making smart decisions for you, your business, your family and your life.

Saying no is a skill worth developing and saying no can make you more successful. As you begin to regularly say no to the wrong things and allow yourself time to say yes to the right things, you’ll find yourself with more time, more opportunities and more success in your personal and business life.

Not sure how to develop the habit of saying no? Follow the simple steps here. And let me know how this has worked in your life. Share your challenges, your questions and your successes in the comment section.

Success

Get Clear

Get Real

Get Legal

Get Help

Are You Ready to Live in the Zone of Totality?

How Can Saying No Make You More Successful?

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