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Marie Leslie

Mentoring You to Personal & Professional Success

time management

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How Saying No Can Make You More Successful

Once upon a time, my calendar was bursting at the seams. With four active children, a retail photography studio, activity in my church, and community volunteer work, my color-coded calendar looked like a rainbow threw up all over it. I was busy 24/7 and the word “relax” was not a part of my vocabulary. I felt like I was a good mom and a successful business owner. Until the day I missed an mportant client meeting that got overlooked in my overcrowded schedule.

Fortunately my client was understanding—but it was a HUGE wake-up call for me. I thought I was a much better time juggler than I was. We all think that. And many of us labor under the delusion that if we’re busy we must be accomplishing important things and building our success. And a detrimental delusion it is. Busy,  productive and successful are NOT the same thing.

Let me repeat that.

Busy,  productive and successful are NOT the same thing.

saying no can help reduce stress

Busy people may look productive and therefore successful, but in reality they’re often so busy juggling all their commitments to keep anything from falling through the cracks, they miss the important opportunities that could actually increase their success. It feels good to be needed. Being “in demand” can stroke the ego. It feels good to be able to help, but when we fall into the trap of thinking we need to be involved in or responsible for everything, we aren’t doing ourselves—or anyone else—any favors.

I enjoy having opportunities to serve and to be involved in my communities, but I have learned that involvement comes at a price. Providing my business services for free can hurt my business (and it has more than it hasn’t). When I fail to value my time and talents, others fail to value them as well and come to expect free all the time. If I am working for free or volunteering for too many causes I am giving away opportunities where I can earn money to meet the needs of my family. And when I say yes to too many opportunities to provide personal service to others, I am giving away the time I need to meet the needs of my family.

When you say yes to every request that comes along, whether it is business or personal, you will eventually have no time left for the things that are necessary or important to you. You allow someone else to choose your priorities. You also torpedo your business and personal success with all those other activities that take time away from what’s really important. I am not saying you shouldn’t serve or help—that’s not what this post is about. It’s about learning to distinguish between good, better and best, and learning when to decline good and better so you can focus on “best.”

Saying No Allows You to Say Yes to Opportunity

How Can Saying No Make You More Successful?

When you say no to commitments that don’t honor your purpose, you have more time to focus on the things that do. Here are some of the many ways in which saying no can make you more successful.

  • Saying No gives you control over your own life.
    You have the power to choose how to spend your time. Allowing yourself to be “guilted” or shamed into accepting requests gives that control to others.

 

  • Rejection. Serious mature woman in formalwear saying no to you wSaying No lowers your stress level.
    Agreeing to things that you either don’t want to do or don’t have time to do creates stress. Declining them helps you avoid unnecessary stress.

 

  • Saying No gives you the time and resources to say Yes to the right opportunities.
    When your life is overstuffed with every request that comes along, you lack the time and energy to take advantage of the right opportunities for you.

 

  • Saying No can increase your confidence and self-esteem.
    Being assertive and taking control of your life is good for you and strengthens your confidence.

 

  • Saying No increases your self-discipline.
    Saying Yes to every request is often the path of least resistance. As you learn to speak up for yourself and say no, you are exercising and strengthening self-discipline.

 

  • Saying No demonstrates that you value your time.

 

  • Saying No can protect your reputation and integrity.

 

  • Saying No increases your authenticity and credibility.
    Declining opportunities that don’t fit your purpose or you don’t have time for, allows you to avoid sub-standard results from overbooking, and allows you to act with integrity and reinforce your purpose.

 

  • Saying No helps you avoid burnout.
    Being selective about the requests you accept helps you to avoid overloading your schedule and becoming too exhausted for your priorities.

 

  • Saying No gives you more energy.
    When your actions and your commitments align with your purpose, you are energized by them instead of being drained.

 

  • Saying No allows you to make smarter decisions.
    Carefully choosing the right opportunities, while declining the wrong ones is making smart decisions for you, your business, your family and your life.

 

Saying no is a skill worth developing and saying no can make you more successful. As you begin to regularly say no to the wrong things and allow yourself time to say yes to the right things, you’ll find yourself with more time, more opportunities and more success in your personal and business life.

 

Not sure how to develop the habit of saying no? Follow the simple steps here.  And let me know how this has worked in your life. Share your challenges, your questions and your successes in the comment section.

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Three Easy Ways to Add Extra Hours to Your Day

Ways to Add Extra Hours to Your DayI lost an hour yesterday. Most of us did. We had to “spring forward” with our clocks.

It’s amazing how that one little hour can really throw your whole system off.

I don’t know about you, but I want my hour back and I really don’t want to wait eight months to get it.

Unfortunately, I don’t foresee a 25-hour day anywhere in our futures, so we’re going to have to make the most of the hours we already have.

Here are three easy ways to add extra hours to your day.

  1. Lose the Time Sucks

We all have things we do that just suck up hours out of our day. If you don’t know what yours are, it’s time for a quick self-evaluation. Here are the biggies to get you started:

Television—if you don’t want to eliminate it completely, choose the shows you love the most and ditch the rest. And use your TV time wisely. I justify my TV time by sorting & folding laundry, doing the ironing, catching up on mending or doing some “cooking ahead” while I watch.

Internet—And if you’re not in front of the TV, you’re probably online. Learn to limit your online time by choosing wisely and using a timer. Set specific times to check and respond to email and stick to it. By the way, “all day” isn’t a specific time.

Chores—Other than my mother-in-law I don’t know anyone who loves to do chores. They are necessary, though. Find ways to reduce the chore load. If you can afford to hire a house cleaner, that can save you all kinds of time. If not, spread the wealth. If you have a family, they should be helping. Start assigning out chores. And don’t be a perfectionist about it. Mealtimes can be made easier if you cook multiple meals at one time. For example, when I make lasagna, I always make three and freeze two for busy nights. I make pasta sauce in a large kettle and freeze it in meal-size containers.  If you’re making a casserole or other dish that freezes well, make it in multiples—or at least prep ingredients for future meals while you’re cooking tonight’s dinner.

 

  1. Take advantage of Down Time

Are you waiting for a family member at an appointment—or waiting for your own appointment? Sitting in line to pick up a child from school? Commuting back and forth to work?

Find ways to do more with your “waiting time” than just playing mindless games on your phone or staring at the wall. If you have a substantial commute, download some great audio books or podcasts onto your phone that you can listen to during the commute. You’ll arrive at your destination much less stressed and much more motivated than if you listen to talk radio or just let other drivers frustrate you.

Bring a book along for those waiting times. Always have something interesting to read. Bring along a notebook as well. Not only can you catch up on making next month’s menu or making the grocery list, you can also do some writing. I am a journaler, so a few extra minutes can get me caught up on this week’s journal entries. I also jot down ideas and occasionally complete articles while I’m waiting for someone’s PT appointment to end or band practice to finish.

 

  1. Re-evaluate your priorities

Look at what you are spending your time on? Are you doing things that are really meaningful to you or just letting yourself drift along with the current of life? Whether you’re at work or at home, take a good look at how you are spending your days. Figure out how to dump the unproductive junk, and how to do the things you love to do more effectively and efficiently. Once you’ve “dumped the junk” from your life, you will be amazed at how much more free time you have. Not sure how to figure out your priorities? Read this.

Whether you try just one or all three of these ideas, you will find yourself with more time in your day—and the opportunity to be more productive and less stressed. Let me know how it works for you.